| "butt-mind" | being obsessed with the size of your own bottom and what other's think of your appearance | I have a major case of butt-mind |
| emaciation | dangerously skinny | It seems that supermodels now are walking examples of emaciation. |
| cellulite | collections of fat that push against the connective tissue beneath a person's skin | She didn't want to show her legs because of her cellulite. |
| waddled | to walk in a rocking gait like a duck | The fat guy waddled down to the beach. |
| iguanas | large lizards | Iguanas sunned themselves on the beach. |
| "my aunties" | in this story, the author's fat butt cheeks | I could feel the aunties beaming. |
| angstrom | a unit of measure equal to 1 hundred-millionth of a centimeter (a very small distance) | If he had an angstrom of intelligence, he would know that it was stupid to quit his job. |
| mantilla | a traditional headpiece or veil from Spain | Catholic women, while attending mass or other religious ceremonies, commonly wore mantillas. |
| female impersonation | a man dressing-up like a woman, a form of transvestitism | The talk show featured female impersonators. |
| Various People Mentioned in the Passage: |
| Sam | the author's young son |
| Cindy Crawford | one of our earliest supermodels |
| Roy Cohn | a disgraced conservative political leader who died of AIDS. |
| Oliver North | a conservative radio talk show host, who was accused of laudering money in an illegal deal to fund counterrevolutionaries in Central America while working for President Reagan. |